Home Parenting Family & Relationships Six Tips for Single Mums Seeking Mr Right
Six Tips for Single Mums Seeking Mr Right PDF Print E-mail
Written by Amanda Alexander   

Whatever circumstances you find yourself in and however you arrived at your role of single mum, after a certain time you will probably seek romance once again!

Sooner or later you may consider re-entering the dating arena. But you might feel that you are a little "rusty" for dating and of course, you are not exactly a single entity, either! You might want to seek professional coaching to help you plan your next life stage!

First of all, start with giving yourself a good talking to! You need to tell yourself that it is fine and normal to seek the attention of another man. Society is full of preconceived notions and you may encounter resistance from certain "friends," acquaintances or fellow workers advising you, subtly or directly not to do so. Tip number one - ensure that you give yourself permission!

If you're getting ready to enter the dating game once again, prepare yourself for the reactions of your children. Your kids might have lots of questions and they might even react negatively. After all, somebody else could be vying for your time as well from now on. Be open and honest with your kids and; don't tell half-truths. Explain that mummy needs to be with her new friends, just as they do with theirs. A little time spent in preparation this way will pay dividends later on. Tip number two - be open with the kids!

Don't make finding a man into the "be all and end all". Understand that you're currently getting along well in your role as a single mum and you don't want to jeopardise that under any circumstances. If you appear needy and desperate, you're much less likely to find the "right" man. Therefore, you should not put too much emphasis on your man-seeking activities to the point of obsession. It's OK to look and make an effort to "see and be seen" in appropriate social circumstances, but keep it in check and remember to enjoy the process rather than making it into a mission. Tip number three - everything in moderation!

You are quite rightly proud of your kids, as they are of you. It takes a gentle introduction however when it comes to your new man interests. Never be apologetic about your family. On the contrary, especially as you should have a good idea how he is likely to react to the idea of children. You would scarcely want to go further than the first encounter if you thought it would be negative. While a gentle introduction is called for, don't think that you have to roll the kids out every time that you meet. There's a time and place for integration, gently does it best. Tip number four - integrate gently!

It's perfectly normal and understandable to think about how the potential "he" might make a good father figure and to wonder whether your new man may be the answer. Don't be tempted to put too much pressure on the situation by leaning on him. Making him an automatic father figure won't work and you shouldn't impose on him to do pseudo-parenting duties right away. It's not okay to ask him to pick up the kids from school every day. Tip number five - don't allocate roles!

If you're feeling a bit giddy about a new man, it can be difficult, but you need to keep your head on the right way in the early days. You'll have to temper your natural inclination to spend time with someone you're really attracted to with your family commitments. Your kids are your priority until the relationship proves itself to be solid. Tip number six - keep your head on straight!

Being a single mum is difficult, especially if you're trying to balance a demanding career as well. You'll find that online life coaching can help you to move forward.

 


Amanda Alexander is the Director of Coaching Mums. She is a widely renowned ICF-accredited coach, who has helped thousands of working moms across the Globe over the past 7 years to get more time, less guilt, bring balance back into their lives, and have more fun! For truly inspiring articles and cutting-edge professional coaching tips, sign up to receive "Inspire", our highly-acclaimed free newsletter at Coaching Mums

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